Bug List

Before I start listing off all the 'bugs' that frustrate my daily life, I'd like to start by saying I'm an outsider. Having moved to Florida from England when I was 17, I've found I may analyze things differently than others. But I believe this is a natural result of an analytical mind in a new environment. Furthermore, I must add my comments aren't intended to create offense, but rather represent an accurate and amusing representation of my experiences. Hope you enjoy!!

1.  People thinking hogwarts is an accurate representation of England                                               Why? Probably due to a lack of cultural experiences, and motivation to convince oneself that their mystical fantasy actually exists. 
2. The Drinking Age                                                                                                                            Why? Maybe because Americans aren't emotionally stable enough to refrain from becoming alcoholics. Personally I think that that alcohol being illegal only entices one to binge drink, and makes people more idiotic and immature with alcohol consumption. But feel free to disagree! 
3. People not understanding my sarcasm                                                                                             Why? A lot of Americans have strange reactions to my sarcasm, mostly getting offended and angry. But this is most likely due to their polite nature. 
4. Country Music                                                                                                                                  Why? Every song seems to sound almost identical, and involves the same topics of discussion; a girl, a truck, a flag, a beach or a beer. If anyone finds a country song without discussing one of the listed items, please let me know. It might even change my opinion! 
5. Girls who try and keep up                                                                                                                Why? This is a bug that seems to be existent in both American and English culture. Probably because they want to stay on the same 'vibe' and 'blackout' like the guys. However, your twice as small, and are yet to discover your limits. Please think next time before trying to keep up, unless you want to sleep in a bush, a situation I've come across one too many times my first year of college.  
6. The 'twerk' decade                                                                                                                             Why? Most likely due to the obsession with having 'curves' and 'thickness', reinforced by a rap and trap culture that talks about 'getting low' and 'shaking dat ass'. I personally prefer a different styles of dancing, but that's just me! 
7. Girls saying my accent is fake                                                                                                         Why? Again, due to their lack of cultural experience, and refusing to believe that a person from 'across the pond' is actually in their country. But yes, this is a bug that I deal with everyday. 
8. Having to have the same conversation over and over again                                                            Why? Because of human natures natural curious mind, but you wouldn't believe how similar and unvaried the questions are. Why did you move here? What's better England or America? What's England like? Have you meet the queen? Have you been to Hogwarts? The struggle continues... 
9. Why life can't just be like a Music Festival                                                                                     Why? Most likely due to cultural and racial differences, and people too busy being depressed with their 9-5 boring jobs. But when you got to a music festival, you see human potential first hand. Just nothing but peace, love and positivity. Regardless of race, color, religion and sexual orientation. Paradise. 
10. Why proper football is called soccer                                                                                                Why? Here I don't have an explanation. It really makes no sense. I mean, not only was football invented before and its name globally accepted but it is played with your feet!! If someone wants to start a petition to make American football called 'handball' I'll be the first one to sign it. You know where to find me. 
11. Why I can travel to 5 countries within Europe for cheaper than going to one other state               Why? The US is huge and has very few trains interlinking the big cities. But its frustrating that I can pay just over $200 and go to Amsterdam, Berlin, Budapest and Praque from London and then have to pay $400+ to go to New York or California from Florida. Just. Not. Fair.         
12. How the gym has become a social event                                                                                         Why? Probably because of my large social network of friends I made my freshman year. But when an hour pump turns into a 3 hour social event it's worth noting on the bug list. Let me make my gainz in peace bro!! 
13. Why the publix sub line always takes at least 30 minutes                                                                Why? I get that public's prides itself on customer service, and wants to make every customer feel like family, but i don't need a 10 minute chat when i'm just tryna eat bro. This often turns what should be a 5 minute line into a 30+ minute line. "great service though!!" 
14. The long waits at the DMV and any bureaucratic service in America                                            Why? Every bureaucratic service in this country seems to have endless boxes to tick and problems to solve which have no relevance to the actual reason you're there. 
15. Lifted vehicles                                                                                                                                  Why? Other than looking awful and douchiee, it seems to me they are trying to compensate being smaller in other departments. And it's not even restricted to trucks, i mean, who lifts a Subaru legacy?? 
16. The sound of chalk on a blackboard                                                                                                 Why? I'm convinced this is the worst sound one must ever suffer listening to, however many teachers continue to put their students though this enduring pain. Comment below if you know of a worse sound, I'm convinced you don't. 
17. The confidence drinker                                                                                                                    Why? We all know them, we probably have a close friend who is one of them, but these people exist everywhere. It's like after a couple of tequila shots and a few brew-ski's they suddenly become Drake or Miley Cyrus. Chill with that. 
18. People cruising in the overtaking lane                                                                                             Why? So I thought people in England were bad with this, but then i moved to Florida a realized how blessed I was before.  The worst thing is they never learn! In England you'll get pulled over and ticketed but Floridians will go through their whole life hogging the left lanes. Someone ignite change!! 
19. British people in theme parks                                                                                                           Why? Its so easy to spot them. Sweating, pale, confused and sun block covering their whole bodies. It's just not a pleasant site. You can tell they are out of their comfort zone, feeling like a roast potato blazing in a conventional oven. 
20. Wasting half the night in a line at midtown                                                                                    Why? This is due to Gainsville's enthusiasm for partying and having a good time, which I love, but when you get to the bars before 9 and you still have to wait 2 hours to get in a bar, it can get pretty depressing. Especially when the cover has gone up $10 by the time you get to the front of the line. 

It took me two 30 minute brainstorming sessions to come up with this list. But there are a lot of bugs that still missed the cut. Maybe that's me just being pessimistic but I found this assignment very enjoyable! It gave me an opportunity to vent, as well as a chance to have fun with it. Once again, I hope my bugs didn't offend anyone! But if they did, grow a pair ;)